All New Younger, Girlier Cabinet!

I read the news today, oh boy! It seems Prime Minister David Cameron has been up to a bit of butchery with his Cabinet reshuffle. The main news seems to be that middle-aged men are out and younger women are in:

Daily Mail Cabinet Reshuffle

In a breaking exclusive, I’d like to introduce some new members of the cabinet.

Young Girl 1

This young lady is Clara Ffossington-Ffossington-Smythe of the Suffolk Ffossington-Ffossington-Smythe’s – who were given their estates when Clara’s great, great, … great-grandfather got blotto with George IV and won a bet. She becomes the new Secretary of Education. She promises to look into the strike laws, after she’s got to grips with counting to 6 and using the potty. 

Young Girl 2

Slightly more mature is the new Environment Secretary, Beth Trellis. She thinks the environment is, like, really cool and important and stuff, and we should, like, do more to protect it. Yup. She vows to work really hard in between taking her SATs and going round her friends’ houses.

Despite the younger, more female Cabinet, David Cameron is still open to criticism that it’s too… human. In an attempt to deflect this charge of ‘species-ism’ he attempted to see if Paul the psychic Octopus would become Minister Without Portfolio – no doubt his predictive skills would come in handy – but, alas, that fine Cephalopod shuffled off this mortal coil some years ago.

Unfortunately, despite the greater diversity in age and gender, there will be little diversity in competence. All the Cabinet will be equally useless.


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