A Different Point of View

E. L. James has decided to rewrite Fifty Shades of Grey from the point of view of the other character, Christian Grey, in her new novel Grey.

This has got me thinking… what other books could be rewritten from another character’s viewpoint?

The Holy Bible

Poor old God. After a busy weeks’ work making the sky, land and seas; the Sun, Moon and stars; the creatures of the sea and the birds of the sky; all kinds of wild animals; and his crowning glory, mankind, God had hoped to put His feet up and finally enjoy His creation. Little did He realise what He was in for.

Before long, His beloved Adam and Eve had disobeyed Him*. Then one of their children murders the other. Things just get worse and worse. Sexual immorality, genocide, idolatry, child sacrifice. Watching from on high, God had hoped for something like Little House on the Prairie; instead He got something like Game of Thrones.

Things get so bad, God sends His only Son down to tell everyone to be cool and groovy and try to get along with everyone; for which effrontery He is duly nailed to a cross.

Sinking into anger and depression, God has no choice but to call in the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to put an end to it all.

Moby Dick

“Call me Moby Dick” begins this classic tale of a white whale. With florid prose and exhaustive detail, this Great American Novel lays bare the rich inner life of a Sperm Whale. Readers are treated to Cetacean cerebrations on such diverse matters as the wetness of water, the deliciousness of squid and shrimp, and the joy of the open ocean.

Over 135 incident-packed Chapters, we gawp as the whale swims westwards. We thrill as the whale swims eastwards. We cower as he swims down. We whoop as he swims up. We delight as he swims westwards again.

Such excitement is briefly interrupted in an odd incident in which Moby is harpooned by a mad old sea captain he vaguely remembers meeting before. But a quick ram of his ship puts paid to this interruption, and Moby can go on his exciting way: swimming east, west, eating some krill…

* Forgive the sacrilege, but isn’t God showing a poor grasp of human psychology here? Any parent knows that if you specifically forbid something – don’t eat these cookies, don’t eat the fruit from this tree – you can practically guarantee that those cookies or fruit will be eaten.